Things left unsaid...

I think that we do not honor, or speak enough about grief in our fast-paced, outward-focused culture. Part of being human is to have to let go of someone we love. We will each suffer loss during our life-time; no home will be left untouched by the death of a loved one.

Sometimes, through the great work of hospice and spiritual guides, we are able to say good-bye to someone we love. We feel finished, complete. We have told them we love them, we have said, "I'm sorry," for those things we regret, and we have told them we will miss their presence in our lives. Saying good-bye is very, very important, especially to those of us who will continue to grieve.

If you have something left unsaid to someone you have loved who has died, it is not too late to say those things. One way to do this is to write a letter to the one you will continue to love, who is gone. Maybe you want to place a picture of the one you have lost in front of you when you write the letter.

In your letter you can share your feelings, your sadness, as well as your love, the left-over resentments and anger you may have, and your thanks for all this one means to you. Take your time when you write the letter. Think about it for a time before you sit down to write the letter. If you can, write the letter in long-hand, as if you were writing to send a letter to a loved one in the mail.

If you have a place to take the letter, take it there. Maybe you want to go to the grave to write the letter, or to leave it there. Maybe there is a book that holds special meaning for you. Place the letter there.

Many before you have experienced some peace during a time of mourning by saying good-bye in this way.

Warmly,
meb