a leaf falls... loneliness - poem by e.e.cummings

I know loneliness. I have known loneliness since I was a child, growing up in a culture that could not nourish the artist in me.
I have known loneliness as a young adult, thinking that a partner would take my loneliness away. I know loneliness now, when it masquerades as anxiety or over-work, or wanting to please others.

My loneliness connects me in a deep way to everything in my life and in the world. I am a friend of the spider, weaving its lonely and beautiful and strong web on my steps. I am a friend of the woman in Darfur, who holds her dying baby in her arms, her eyes filled with terror and hopelessness. I am a friend of the homeless on the streets of the city. I am a friend of those who are crying in the night, alone. I am a friend of my skittish cat, Squeak, who doesn't know how to connect, to me or to other creatures. I am a friend of those who grieve.

Loneliness is not always a way for me to connect. Loneliness is a distraction. Loneliness is an excuse to be alone too much.

Still, I am grateful today for my loneliness. This morning, I woke up singing, "God's eyes are on the sparrow, and I know God watches me."

Today, I am one with all of you who are lonely.
Warmly,
meb