Getting Mad and Be-ing Spiritual

Sometimes we just plain get mad. I'm sure that's an understatement for most of us! Anger - "getting mad" - is part of being human. Real damage has been done to all of humanity by associating "being spiritual" with never "getting mad," however.
For example: have you ever heard someone being described as "a saint," because they never got mad? The part of the story you don't hear about that saint is that they suffered from depression or were passive-agressive in relationship to others, knowing no other outlet for their anger.

We all have our faults. Anger is not one of them. Anger simply is. Anger is energy. Anger is one of our feelings, a gift of being human. Anger lets us know when our boundaries have been violated.

How we treat our own anger, however, is also part of being human. Every single one of us - every single human being - is responsible for what they do with their anger. Road rage, which endangers us and every one else who is present, is not a responsible way to handle anger. War, which endangers all of human-kind, is not a responsible way to handle anger. Violence towards others - our spouse, our children, our parents, our neighborhood - is not a responsible way to handle anger.
Depression is a harmful way to handle anger, although it may be the only way we know how to handle our anger. Some of us use food or alcohol or other drugs or medications to "stuff away" our anger.

Because anger is energy, none of these approaches is a practical, productive way to use the energy of anger. Every one of them hurts either ourselves or others.

How can you learn to be responsible for your anger? I'll suggest a couple of things you can do to begin, but again, my approach is "simple, but not easy." My suggestions are only suggestions, not the whole range of possibilities. If you want to grow spiritually, you'll have to learn about how to be responsible for your anger at some point... are you ready?

1. Instead of reacting in your usual way the next time you "get mad," notice what the anger feels like. Where do you feel/sense the anger in your body?
2. When you get angry, take the opportunity to tell yourself: "this anger is mine. It belongs to me and tells me about me. No one else caused me to be angry."
3. Make friends with your anger. In other words, instead of pushing anger away, get to know your anger. Find out when it comes and when it goes, and whom it is likely to hurt: you or others.
4. Count to 10! This gives you time to think about your anger and to make a responsible decision. Then you can use your anger to make creative adjustments, when you are no longer in the heat of the moment.
5. Talk to someone you can trust about your anger. If your anger has caused you any problems in a relationship, then you need help. Get professional help - a counselor or therapist - if that's what you need.

Warmly,
meb