"I've got a brand new pair of roller skates, you've got a brand new key..." Melanie Safka

Many of us spend our lives looking for the person whose skate key will fit our roller skates. We look and we look, we roller skate past the houses of people whose skate key will fit our skates, we long and we long and we long for someone who will come along to make us whole.

Here are the facts: the roller skates and the key are both inside of you! You hold them both!

I'm not wanting to deny your loneliness or your longing. That's not the point of this post. The point is, instead, that before you find someone to fill in the missing places in yourself, or before you even go looking for someone like that, you have to find the missing places in yourself. This takes time, and it takes work, and it takes some introspection into yourself.

I know that work and family and grocery-shopping and getting the oil changed in the car and the daily commute take up most of your time. I know that. I also know that we don't get validation from anyone to do the work it takes to get to know who we are, who we really are. Don't count on validation from anyone else if you decide to spend some time with yourself, just to get to know yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back, though.

Find a few minutes every day. Make yourself a cup of tea. Put aside the book you've been reading, or the work you brought home from the office. Sit somewhere comfortable. Then, sit. Sit. Just sit. Do this every single day for awhile. How long? That's up to you. It may take awhile to get used to sitting without other plans. In fact, you might want to start out sitting for a minute or 5 minutes.

After awhile, you'll be surprised. You'll discover that it is indeed, true: the roller skates and the key are all there! You have everything you need to be happy.

Warmly,
meb