Dear Ones,
Late yesterday evening I learned that a person who was very important to me in my spiritual journey has died - Harvey Stower, of Amery, Wisconsin. Harvey was a charismatic, caring person who touched many lives with his generous spirit, his keen mind, and his ability to bring people together - "across the aisle," as the saying goes in Congress.
Harvey was a young adult minister when I was a young adult, struggling to connect in the world. I was afraid. I was lonely. I was in search of meaning. I didn't know it, but I needed a community of good folks. Many times I called Harvey's house on a Sunday after church - Sunday afternoons are often the worst time of the week for lonely people - and when he answered he'd say: "Come on over! Good folks are coming over!" I'd arrive at his home, where Marilyn was already cooking a huge meal, her baby Katie on her hip, and people would begin to arrive. I later learned that when I had called, there had been no plans for others to join us. A crowd gathered.
One night I stood under the vast sky filled with stars in Amery, where I was visting Marilyn and Harvey for the weekend. "I have no faith," I confessed to Harvey. Always present to the moment, Harvey said: "If you can just think of Jesus as your friend."
And so began my walk with Jesus. And so began the great adventure that led me to study theology, serve as a pastor, and and a great adventure that has led to a life of meaning and purpose.
When I read the email that Harvey had passed, I stood for a long time in my kitchen, wanting to call someone to share the news. Everyone I thought about is gone, too. So I called a friend, late, in Wisconsin, and she said: "Oh - it's hard to lose a good friend." Then I called my sister in Hawaii, and she listened, too.
One grief brings up other griefs. Like you, I'm still trying to make sense of life. And I am very, very grateful for the gift of having known Harvey Stower, a giant of a person in this world.
Warmly,
meb
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1 comment:
Hi MEB,
I don't know you, but I just learned today of the loss of Harvey, and I am also deeply saddened. I appreciate your sharing on several levels: It's at Kenwood UMC that my faith and relationship with Jesus began to be real, and with the spiritual friendship and wisdom of Harvey it took on whole new dimensions for political activism, real engagement with people and their problems, and truly compassionate service. He embodied all of these, with an abiding faith that it was all about Jesus and his power, but without the heaviness or "oughts" that so much religion becomes. There was a freedom to explore, listen and share a joke. The amazing thing about the invitation and mentoring you mention is that it's one I received several times from him: to be a vacationer with other high school classmates up in Grantsburg one Spring Break from high school, an English Teacher, a seminarian, a married man, a social worker, a musician-- and each time I said, "Sure, I could try that," and was so grateful I did. But none of that would have happened without his simple encouragement and invitation to take a risk and be part of the mix. For that I will be forever grateful. He inspired me to become the person I am in so many ways I cannot mention, but mostly to take the risks to serve and listen so as to empower others. There are people for whom goodness is a way of being, and coffee is a mode of living. He was definitely one of them, and I will not be the same because he was part of my life. I will miss him tremendously.
He once told me the story of the farmer who plants seeds: "He doesn't know if they'll germinate or if they'll start a whole new variety of seed, or just wither, but he's got to keep planting them just the same." He taught me to keep planting seeds and trusting in what might grow. Blessings and condolences, Kent Beduhn, krbeduhn@gmail.com
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