Wednesday, December 31, 2008

At the end of the year

Dear Ones,

Maybe you're thinking about making resolutions. Or maybe you've made some resolutions. Either way, today is a day to let go of the old and to embrace the new.

Begin with love. Love yourself as you are. You are God's own, after all. Love your family, as hard as that may be. Look to see beneath the surface to the ones they are underneath. See them from the heart. Love the world, because the world needs love.
As you go out today, see the light that is shining - often underneath a lot of clutter - in everyone you meet.

Be love.

Happy New Year!
Warmly,
meb

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

LIve happy or live unhappy

Dear Friends,

Yes, you get to choose. You get to choose to live unhappily or to live happily. The other day, I listened calmly as an adult complained about the rising taxes he/she is paying. Well, we're all paying high taxes. Aren't you? I am.

We can't avoid taxes. But we can avoid making ourselves unhappy over them. Our unhappiness only clouds our ability to live creatively with what we are given. When we spend our time unhappily, we limit our responses to life, and we limit our own ability to see clearly.

Our anger, our resentments, whatever is keeping us unhappy needs to be taken out into the sunlight and looked at clearly, once and for all, and then allowed to drift away, so that we can be happy.

And from that place we will live as free, adult human beings.

Warmly,
meb

Monday, December 29, 2008

What is beauty?

Dear Friends,

I've been thinking about what beauty is in this post-modern world. I mean the beauty of human beings. The magazine racks at the grocery store are filled with pictures of what "beauty" is and "beauty" is not. Beauty, according to those sources, is skinny, blond, wears 4 inch high heels, and always has perfect makeup.

Can we change our image of beauty? That takes some work inside ourselves. A few weeks ago I was at an event with many older women. Some were big and some were small. Many were wrinkled. And many had smiles on their faces and big hugs for the friends they greeted.

How can we say that is not beauty? Why not say: "beautiful" to every human being? Why not see the spark of life that makes them beautiful? Who are we to say any human being is not beauty?

Warmly,
meb

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Waiting...

Dear Friends,

Maybe you've been waiting for something - or someone - for a long, long time. How do you wait? For what are you waiting?
What if you stopped waiting?

While you are waiting, remember to live in the present. Be present in your life - breathe, take in each day for what it has to give you, be grateful for this day of life - breathe, be present.

And when what you are waiting for arrives, give thanks!

Warmly,
meb

Saturday, December 27, 2008

maybe you're lonely today...

Dear Ones,

Maybe you are lonely today. The holiday time is the loneliest time.

Is there a way to embrace your loneliness, to make loneliness your friend? In a way, loneliness levels the field of humanity, because every one of us has that lonely place in our hearts.

When loneliness comes, find a way to learn from it. What is loneliness asking? What is loneliness seeking?

When you know your loneliness, you know what lies inside the hearts of people everywhere. And in this lonely, lonely world, that is what is needed.

Warmly,
meb

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas!

Dear Friends,

Merry Christmas!

Warmly,
meb

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

you are light

Dear Friends,

Tonight is Christmas Eve. This is the season when the light comes into the dark. The longest nights have just passed and the light is already coming more quickly into the sky.

Even if you are in a dark time of life, a sad and lonely time, remember this: you are the light of the world. Jesus said this: "You are the light of the world."

If you are light, if I am light, then we are the ones to bring the light into the world. How do we do this?

Remember, first of all, that you are light. Even if this is the darkest time of your life, even if this time of darkness seems to have no end, remember that a light shines within you - and it is up to you to bring that light into the world, uncovered, so that others may see it.

Sometimes our history or our worries or our fears are the darkness, and they shadow the light.

The light is still shining, though, bravely and surely, beneath those brittle fears.
Let it shine!
Warmly,
meb

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Hope

Dear Ones,

The word "hope" has made a come-back this past year, with the election of Barack Obama and his theme of hope.

Hope is not empty "wishing." "I wish it would snow," or "I wish I could make that trip." Hope is something solid, something real, something we can build upon.

Hope is doing the work of finding a job. Hope is putting food on the table. Hope is providing education for all. Hope is making changes that will make your life better, more healthy.

This is the season of hope, hope for a troubled world.

Be Hope this Christmas!
Warmly,
meb

Monday, December 22, 2008

on letting go...

Dear Friends,

It is interesting that in our culture, surrender, or letting go is associated with nonaction. Surrender is not non-action. Surrender is letting go into complete acceptance of whatever is.

For example, if a woman continues to live with an abusive partner, she is really in a state of non-acceptance. Her message to herself is, "if I"m good enough, he'll change." "This won't happen again." "Things are bad for him right now, otherwise he wouldn't do this to me." or "He says he loves me, and I want that, so I can take this from him."

When she reaches the place of acceptance, of surrender, of letting go, however, she really lets go of her own resistance to what actually is. She can look at the situation as it is. She accepts that her partner is abusive, without debating with herself. At that point, she is actually empowered to take action. Surrender leads to powerful, clear, appropriate action.

For most of us, we don't have to deal with abuse, but all of us are dealing with negotiating the truth with ourselves. That's when it's time to surrender to what is.

As Byron Katie has written: love what is.

From that point, the most powerful action becomes clear.
Warmly,
meb

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Longest Night...

Dear Friends,

This is the day following the longest night, the solstice. All over the world, people have marked the passage into the darkest night and shortest day with ritual and awe. In the Christian faith, Christmas is the celebration of the Light coming into the darkness.

No matter how dark your days may be right now, know this: at the moment you immerse yourself into the darkness, when you no longer want to push the darkness away, but you fall deeply, deeply into it - the light begins to shine.

As long as you keep running away, you will not see the light. However dark your pain, your sorrow, your sadness - fall into it - and know the light that emerges.

Warmly,
meb

Saturday, December 20, 2008

During the shortest days -

Dear Friends,

I do love the holiday season, with the lights and the music that only comes around for a few weeks every year. I really do.

At the same time, I know that for me, the holiday season is also the most melancholy time of the year. Every year I think about the ones who are no longer here. Will I ever see them again? What is this longing like for them? How long can grief go on?
I tell others stories about the ones who are gone, as if to bring them back into my life just for a few moments. And I am so grateful to the ones who will listen.

And that's the gift to me this season. Even during the darkest times, I am learning to be grateful. If you are having a dark, dark season - and for many, this is the darkest season of all - begin to give thanks to God, to the Universe, to All That Is - for whatever you can. Start with the smallest things. Are you grateful for a warm cup of tea on a cold morning? Are you grateful for a warm house?

Gratitude is not about comparing. Don't compare yourself to others. For example: "I am grateful for this because others have so little." No - simply be grateful. Just be grateful.

Warmly,
meb

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Richness of being

Dear Friends,

Sometimes I am simply overwhelmed with the richness of being - the beauty of the world, the beauty of people, the varieties of all things, the colors, the light, the little creatures, the feelings, the fragrances. I am in love with it all.

Sometimes I don't know those things at all, I seem to forget that life is rich and vivid, even in its difficult moments.

May you have a few moments today to know the richness of being.

Warmly,
meb

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Swimming in love...

Hello, dear ones,

Lately I've been thinking about fish. Goldfish, to be exact. I have been keeping the image of a goldfish in my mind, and watching the goldfish in a bowl. They are swimming in water, smacking their lips (!) as they eat the little bits of food that float to them from the top of the bowl. If one of them - by some unfortunate event - should find itself outside of the water, it would die, and sooner rather than later.

We are like the goldfish - yes, we are! But we are swimming in love... yes, love! You are swimming in love, love is in you and around you and beside you and with you, you are made of love, you are so immersed in love that you have forgotten - you take it for granted, after all. And there is no way you can ever find yourself outside of this goldfish bowl of love, because love is all it is. That's all it is.

Sometimes events or people or tragedies or faults or sorrows seem larger than love, but that is simply not true. All of those things, too, are swimming in love.

Happy diving!

Warmly,
meb

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

This is all a gift...

Dear Ones,

Sometimes it comes to me with complete clarity: this life is all a gift to us.

It's all a gift. Today, this moment, the rain, the sun, the little birds, the sounds, even the rushing sounds of traffic - everything is a gift.

I haven't been one who has "counted my blessings," I admit. My mind easily goes into dark corners that tell me I am not enough, or things aren't going well, or things are going to fall apart. And it's true: sometimes, things have fallen apart in my life. Maybe things are falling apart for you right now.

This is all a gift. Remember.

Warmly,
meb

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Make your own holiday traditions...

Dear Friends,

If these are hard days for you, do something different. Call and invite yourself to Christmas Dinner. Many times, when we are alone, others don't realize that we are alone. Let others know. Tell them the holidays are a difficult time for you.

Do something different. Make plans for the especially hard times. Go to church, if you never go to church. Plan to go to a movie. Go for a walk. Take yourself out to dinner.

Volunteer at a shelter or a community meal. Do something for someone else. Invite someone else who is alone over to your place for dinner.

Make time and space for your loneliness and grief. Ask your loneliness and grief what they want from you during this time.

Make your own holidays.
Warmly,
meb

Monday, December 8, 2008

Speak Your Grief

Dear Ones,

If the holidays are difficult for you, you may feel all alone. After all, isn't everyone happy that it is the holidays? While that may be our perception, our perception may not be reality. The holidays are often difficult. In fact, maybe some of the frantic activity is simply another way to mask the real feelings of the time.

This holiday season, if you are having a difficult time emotionally, please find someone to talk to. You may be surprised how another person will respond when you begin to speak your truth. When you choose someone to talk to, be as careful as you can in your choice. Hopefully, you will find someone who will listen, who will simply listen, nodding in understanding. You don't need someone to "fix," you, because you are not broken. You are simply experiencing grief, which is a truly human experience. And it is not only your plight to know grief during the holidays, it is also real.

Speak your grief. We know that healing comes from speaking to another human being. If you can, find a 12 step group, where people are accustomed to speaking their grief, and no one tries to explain it away.

Blessings, dear ones.
meb

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Getting to know fear

Dear Ones,

As we know, these are fear-ful times. None of us knows the outcome of current events, how they will play out, how long they will continue. We don't know whether these events are even "good" or "bad." Of course, it is our tendency to say they are, "bad," but we really don't know how they will play out, for any of us.

One thing that we can do during this time that will be very productive is to learn what we can about our fear. You may know you are afraid, or you may not. A fact of life is that we each have fear, and we each have our own way of dealing with fear. Some of us jump right into the fray when we are afraid. Some of us retreat. Some of us speed up. Some of us withdraw.

As a beginning, notice how you handle your fear. Then, talk to your fear! yes, talk to your fear! If you can, picture your fear, and have your fear sit in a chair across from you. Ask the fear where it comes from, and what it wants to say to you.

By relating to our fear, we begin to lessen its grip on us. We begin to learn from it, rather than be controlled by it.

Spend a little time with your friend, Fear, today!
Warmly,
meb

Friday, December 5, 2008

How have you changed?

Dear Friends,

As the end of the year arrives, we'll be thinking about some useful ways to reflect on your life. One way is to think about how you have changed in the last year. Maybe you've grown in some way, or maybe you've been practicing relating differently to others in your life.

If your new ways of relating have to do with your family, you'll probably get to practice some over the coming holidays!

No matter what, remember this. If you are growing or changing in some way, allow yourself freedom to sometimes return to old patterns and behaviors. Go easy on yourself. As you grow, grow also in forgiveness of yourself.

Enjoy your changes!
Warmly,
meb

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Reviewing your life...

Hello, dear Friends,

As the holidays approach and we get closer to the end of the year, to the time of the longest nights and shortest days, it is a good time to review your year, and even your life.

One person I know worked very hard this year to help others. Many times, she had to put her own needs on hold to take care of an ailing friend, of a sister who needed a place to live and who could not help herself. I invited her to make a list of her accomplishments for the year, as a way of giving thanks for all she has been able to do for others. This is a way of taking a breath, of seeing what she has really been able to do.

Another way to review the year is to take stock of your relationships. Is there something you need to say to someone? Do you need to say "thank you," or "I'm sorry," or "I love you?" Are there things that need to be talked over? Are there changes you want to make?

None of us knows how long we will have the gift of this life. Use your moments now, at this natural time of reviewing, to do the things that are important.

Blessings to you this day,
meb

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Thanks for everything...

Dear Friends,

Today a friend told me of her plan to give away more money to charity than she has in the past, even though her expenses are higher this year than they have been, and in spite of the news of the economy. She wants to make her contributions as an act of faith and gratitude.

She is grateful to be able to give. And she is trusting that her needs will be taken care of.

In this way, we learn how to be grateful for everything. For those of us who are people who have food on our table and who have a community to whom we relate, we have much to be grateful for.

This is the season of giving, the season of gifts. Give yourself the greatest gift by giving to others!
Warmly,
meb

Monday, December 1, 2008

Stopping

Dear Friends,

A friend of mine has written a book and has a website called: stopping.com
David calls himself a "failed meditator," but he defines the need we have for stopping what we are doing in order to get back in touch with ourselves and what we need and want and to discover what is truly important. Sometimes we need to stop for a day, sometimes for a week, sometimes for a few moments, and sometimes for a year!

This is a busy, busy, season. Make sure you take a few moments to stop and to discover again what is truly important to you, and who you truly are.

Warmly,
meb