on letting go...

Dear Friends,

It is interesting that in our culture, surrender, or letting go is associated with nonaction. Surrender is not non-action. Surrender is letting go into complete acceptance of whatever is.

For example, if a woman continues to live with an abusive partner, she is really in a state of non-acceptance. Her message to herself is, "if I"m good enough, he'll change." "This won't happen again." "Things are bad for him right now, otherwise he wouldn't do this to me." or "He says he loves me, and I want that, so I can take this from him."

When she reaches the place of acceptance, of surrender, of letting go, however, she really lets go of her own resistance to what actually is. She can look at the situation as it is. She accepts that her partner is abusive, without debating with herself. At that point, she is actually empowered to take action. Surrender leads to powerful, clear, appropriate action.

For most of us, we don't have to deal with abuse, but all of us are dealing with negotiating the truth with ourselves. That's when it's time to surrender to what is.

As Byron Katie has written: love what is.

From that point, the most powerful action becomes clear.
Warmly,
meb