Staying Sane Through the Holidays...

Dear Friends,

Believe it or not, it's not too early to begin thinking about the holidays. For me, I find that the holidays are often as sad as they are happy. More than anything, I enjoy the Christmas tree and the lights it brings into the house. As an adult, the holidays for me are about sitting in front of the tree, enjoying the early evenings and the lights. At the same time, I remember those who are no longer with me. And I miss them. I also remember that I loved the Christmas tree as a child. And so I turn those memories over in my mind.

No matter what, the holidays become a busy season. A good way to make sure you have some time for reflection during the holidays is to plan ahead. Make a list of what you usually do during the coming weeks. Now, look at the list again: what do you want to do? What don't you want to do? Can you cross off some of the things you don't want to do?

Think about this: what's really important? Is going to every single party important? Or are there some parties that you can graciously decline? Think about how you can say "no," and say it kindly.

Think ahead about other things that you know will come up during this time. Is there a brother-in-law with whom you always clash? What if you responded differently to him this year? What if, instead of "clashing," you chose to not react, but rather to breathe, take the moment in, and respond, with no words, or in a different way? The trick is to plan ahead, to imagine yourself in the situation, acting with a different response.

What else? These are trying times, financially, for many of us. Is there a way you can make your gifts by hand? Can you do some baking? That is especially nice if you haven't baked as a gift before. Can you make one gift to a charity that makes sense to you, and then send notes to those in whose honor you made the gift?

What works best is to imagine the holiday time ahead of time - now - to write down what you want to do, and then, to do it!

Warmly,
meb