Surrender -

The word "surrender" has a bad connotation in our understanding, in most cases. We think that to surrender means to give up. We think that to surrender means we lose, they win. Another way to understand surrender, however, in terms that are important and freeing for our lives is to "let go" of not accepting what is.

In other words, get real! Or, be free! Who doesn't want to be free?

When you choose to surrender, you choose to accept what is happening - or not happening - in your life for what it is. When you choose to surrender, you choose to accept life on life's terms - not on what you wish it would or could be, if only things were different.

When we do not surrender, we use a lot of our energy fighting - yes, actually fighting - to make things line up with the way we think they SHOULD be. For example, when you do not accept that your partner likes to get loud and obnoxious sometimes, and that nothing you can do can change that, you will probably spend a lot of your time and energy trying to get your partner to change. (An aside: trying to change someone else is another whole topic!).

When we choose to surrender to what is, or to accept what is, we can begin to choose our most honest and freeing response to what is. For example, once you surrender to the fact that your partner actually likes to get loud and obnoxious (in your opinion) sometimes, you can decide how YOU will handle that situation. Once you've accepted that fact, you can stop putting your energy into trying to change someone else, and be free to decide how you will respond to the situation next time. You won't be banging your head on a hard wall anymore!

I'm sorry that "surrender" has taken such a bad rap in our culture. To me, "surrendering to what is" is the most freeing possibility that life offers. I have experienced the absolute freedom and clarity that comes when I surrender. Surrendering to what is does not mean doing nothing; surrendering to what is does mean that I have accepted reality - on its terms - and I am free to respond (instead of to react) in the way that is most life-giving for me.

Whew!
Warmly,
meb