Sometimes it's ok to be confused. It really is! Probably you're like me, and like most of us. When we are confused, we start looking for an answer to our confusion. Maybe this is why I'm confused... Oh, I know, this is the answer! We do something to mask our confusion; sometimes what we choose to do is helpful, and sometimes it's not.
Through the years, I've tried something in meetings when ideas or issues are not getting clarified. I wait until there's a break in the discussion, and then I'll say: "I'm confused - " and I put the unclear point into words. Something always happens quickly: someone jumps into the discussion with the answer to my confusion! Since we all have our own take on things - not necessarily the only take on things, but OUR take on things - the answers to my confusion often do not agree. That doesn't matter, however; what matters is that someone - anyone - has found the answer to expressed confusion! Try it sometime.
Sometimes in our lives, we can be confused for a long, long time. It's not easy to stay confused when there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. We may force a solution to a problem relationship, to building tension, to a time of boredom. When we're confused, we simply don't want to stay with the confusion long enough for it to clarify itself.
In a sense, there can be a mystery to a time of confusion. Maybe something new is waiting to be born in you. Maybe things are adjusting to a deeper level in a relationship, and it's time to stay with it, through this confusing time, until things sort themselves out differently.
Our need to solve every confusing detail is related to our need to control. How about a little confusion for the time being???
Warmly,
meb
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