The Fourfold Way: Tell the Truth

"... but I always tell the truth," you say. Really? Has there ever been a time when you've told "a little white lie?" Has there ever been a time when you've told your boss what you thought your boss wanted to hear? Has there ever been a time when you've skirted an issue - or used a euphemism - rather than speak the truth, directly, simply, clearly? For example, a friend told me she had noticed how many people will say anything else other than the words: "dying," or "death." One day I visited with a woman who was clearly dying of cancer. When I asked her how she was, her sister-in-law, her primary caregiver, said with false cheeriness: "oh she's just a bit under the weather; she'll be up in a day or two."

Most of the truth-telling we have to do does not center around death, although it might for some of us at this time. Most of the truth-telling we have to do centers around our own feelings. First of all, we have to show up and pay attention, as I've written in the past several days. Most of all, we have to show up, pay attention, and tell the truth about our OWN reality, which includes our own feelings and perceptions of any given situation. What is true for you may very well not be true for someone else. You have your own reality, you are entitled to your own reality - and by the same token, every other person has their own reality and is entitled to their own reality.

There is space for your truth in the world, but it is up to you to take the space for your own truth. By telling the truth, you learn whether or not there is space for your truth. That's a lot to learn. When you show up, pay attention, and tell the truth, you may begin to notice there are people and situations that don't want your truth, your perceptions. Is there room for you there? Do you want to stay, knowing there is no room for you, or not?

Telling the truth takes time. In a high-speed culture such as ours, we have to begin to set our own pace if we are going to take the time to tell the truth. I once spoke to a man who took the time to be clear about his own truth before he spoke. As I spoke, he would listen carefully to me. Then there was silence. Sometimes I got frustrated with the long silences between my speaking and his. When I asked him about the silences, he said that when I spoke, he listened. Then he had to think about what I had said. Then he had to consider his response. Only then was he willing to speak.

Show up, pay attention, tell the truth...
Warmly,
meb