“All shall be well.
All shall be well.
All manner of thing shall be well.” - Julian of Norwich, Christian mystic
This past spring I came into conflict with a woman in the congregation I serve in downtown Oakland. The season of the conflict came quickly and unexpectedly. I was caught by surprise, although I was able to gather people who were available to listen to the offended person, to treat her with care, to hear her complaints, and to also invite her to her own place of responsibility.
This is not to say that I did not find myself thrown off-center! In the past, however, my way of being thrown off-center meant that I would become depressed, unable to be present to the congregation and to the community we serve. Instead, this time I began to ask the question in prayer: “What does this person do that is hidden in my shadow?” When I asked the question, responsibility for the answer belonged completely to me. In that responsibility I would also find freedom.
“What does this person do that is hidden in my shadow?” What came clearly to me when I stayed with the question was: anxiety. As I traveled deeper into anxiety, holding that part of myself with care and also trepidation, I discovered fear and anger. I decided to learn from the fear and anger, long-time companions on my journey. I sat with fear, spoke to her, and learned what it was she wanted from me. Then I sat with anger, spoke to her, and learned what it was she wanted from me.
From anger I learned that I am the one responsible for my own setting of boundaries. Boundaries provide safety for me and for others in my life. From fear I learned that I am the one who must provide for my own emotional grounding.
This past spring I came into conflict and I grew. I grew in my ability to stay centered, even during the storms of fear. What became clear to me: “It’s all good. It’s all good.”
This was the Moment of Illumination! “It’s all good.” I shared this idea with others around me who were struggled with their own demons, demons inside and out. “It’s all good.” Sometimes the points of interest in our journeys are places that hurt; sometimes the points of interest involve people we would not have chosen to make this journey with us; sometimes the points of interest involve our looking at parts of ourselves we wish would go away. They don’t! “It’s all good!”
In early November of this year I traveled to New Orleans to work on a team rebuilding houses for families who lost their homes in Katrina. Our team inherited the home of a couple who have spent most of the last 4 years living in a small trailer, living on the generosity of family and friends, waiting to go back home. As our team worked, we were supervised by Phyllis, who coordinates the work, materials and tools for the rebuilding of at least 60 houses at any time in New Orleans. Our team was not a team of experienced, hands-on workers. We made mistakes, and we saved our questions for Phyllis, who showed up once a day to bring supplies and to see our progress with a mind to preparing for the next team of people. Whatever we shared, Phyllis listened, nodded, and said: “It’s all good! It’s all good!” That’s what she has learned from her work after Katrina: “It’s all good.”
In the African American Christian tradition, there is a saying: “God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.”
All shall be well.
All manner of thing shall be well.” - Julian of Norwich, Christian mystic
This past spring I came into conflict with a woman in the congregation I serve in downtown Oakland. The season of the conflict came quickly and unexpectedly. I was caught by surprise, although I was able to gather people who were available to listen to the offended person, to treat her with care, to hear her complaints, and to also invite her to her own place of responsibility.
This is not to say that I did not find myself thrown off-center! In the past, however, my way of being thrown off-center meant that I would become depressed, unable to be present to the congregation and to the community we serve. Instead, this time I began to ask the question in prayer: “What does this person do that is hidden in my shadow?” When I asked the question, responsibility for the answer belonged completely to me. In that responsibility I would also find freedom.
“What does this person do that is hidden in my shadow?” What came clearly to me when I stayed with the question was: anxiety. As I traveled deeper into anxiety, holding that part of myself with care and also trepidation, I discovered fear and anger. I decided to learn from the fear and anger, long-time companions on my journey. I sat with fear, spoke to her, and learned what it was she wanted from me. Then I sat with anger, spoke to her, and learned what it was she wanted from me.
From anger I learned that I am the one responsible for my own setting of boundaries. Boundaries provide safety for me and for others in my life. From fear I learned that I am the one who must provide for my own emotional grounding.
This past spring I came into conflict and I grew. I grew in my ability to stay centered, even during the storms of fear. What became clear to me: “It’s all good. It’s all good.”
This was the Moment of Illumination! “It’s all good.” I shared this idea with others around me who were struggled with their own demons, demons inside and out. “It’s all good.” Sometimes the points of interest in our journeys are places that hurt; sometimes the points of interest involve people we would not have chosen to make this journey with us; sometimes the points of interest involve our looking at parts of ourselves we wish would go away. They don’t! “It’s all good!”
In early November of this year I traveled to New Orleans to work on a team rebuilding houses for families who lost their homes in Katrina. Our team inherited the home of a couple who have spent most of the last 4 years living in a small trailer, living on the generosity of family and friends, waiting to go back home. As our team worked, we were supervised by Phyllis, who coordinates the work, materials and tools for the rebuilding of at least 60 houses at any time in New Orleans. Our team was not a team of experienced, hands-on workers. We made mistakes, and we saved our questions for Phyllis, who showed up once a day to bring supplies and to see our progress with a mind to preparing for the next team of people. Whatever we shared, Phyllis listened, nodded, and said: “It’s all good! It’s all good!” That’s what she has learned from her work after Katrina: “It’s all good.”
In the African American Christian tradition, there is a saying: “God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.”
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