On not being perfect

Today is Valentine's Day, and my Valentine's wish for each one of my readers is that you have someone in your life who loves you, just for being who you are.

"You do not have to be good." (Mary Oliver, "Wild Geese") Most of us have put a lot of our life into being good, and even more, into being perfect. When we are confronted with the fact that we are not perfect, we probably have a difficult time forgiving ourselves. Living with this level of perfectionism can be draining, and can keep us from living as joyfully and freely as we are meant to live.

Learn to forgive yourself when you do not live up to your own standards perfectly. When you learn to forgive yourself, you will find that you can also forgive others for their human foibles.

Many years ago, I learned an expression that helped me through a difficult time of change and growth. "Big Surprise!" When I was learning to live in new ways, to change my behavior and my response to difficult situations I discovered, much to my chagrin, that I frequently did not live up to my own standards of change. I wanted to be a new person, now, and perfectly! When I learned to greet my personal "relapses" with the words, "Big Surprise!," I learned to trust my changes more easily, even when I did not make the changes perfectly.

Forgiving yourself for being human takes practice! Most of us did not learn that as a child, and so we need to teach ourselves.

And even if you don't believe it - take my word for it: you don't have to be perfect. You only have to be perfectly who you are!
Warmly,
meb