Learning to Give Thanks

Dear Friends,

At least we get to talk about "giving thanks" at this time of year! The harvest festival of Thanksgiving is a time when we culturally give thanks. Who among us is connected to the harvest anymore - that time when we stop to consider the bounty of the gifts we have received, quite apart from our own work and labor? Giving thanks seems to be a long way from the way we live, when for most of us a trip to the grocery store provides what we need. The work of our hands, and bodies, and all of our energy - is a long way from the days most of us spend at the computer or on the phone or driving in our cars.

Still, the spiritual practice of giving thanks is an important practice. It may be the most important spiritual practice there is. Today, give thanks. Give thanks for the beauty all around you. Take a few moments to see the beauty there, and then, give thanks!

Today, give thanks. Give thanks for the bounty of people in your life. Give thanks not only for those you love but for those you do not love, those you would not have chosen to be in your life.

Give thanks today. Simply, give thanks.

meb

What We Rely Upon -

Dear Ones,

So many of the institutions we relied upon aren't standing up to the changing times. Think about your life a few years ago. How was it different? How is it the same? How quickly has technology changed? Has technology made your life better than it was before?

Newspapers and online news feeds remind us that those things that we thought would sustain us aren't working as they once worked. The banks, our employers, the government, the churches - none of these things is working as it once worked. Maybe things were never perfect, but in hindsight they did once seem to be better than they are now.

What do you rely upon? Who do you rely upon? If you've relied on others to be there for you, you often discover that others can't be there for you when you need them. Others - after all - have their own lives to live, their own problems to handle, their own crises to attend to.

In the end, we must each learn - often through the difficulties of life - to find our own center, our own way of building strength that can take us through difficult times. For me, that way has been prayer - reaching from myself to an unseen but very present power that is always there, as it always has been there for me. My prayer returns me to that place of acceptance and peace, regardless of whether things turn out the way I want them to - or not.

Who - or what - do you rely upon? On what do you stand when times are tough, as they are now for so many of us. These days, what we relied upon can only be relied upon to be different than it was before.

On what do you stand?

Warmly,

meb

What Do We Need?

Dear Friends,

Everything seems to be falling apart. The people, the institutions, the systems that served us don't seem to be working very well anymore. For example - is politics important, or is the welfare of people important? We seem to be looking frantically for states-people, people who have a will for the people and who can rise above partisan bickering to see what is needed.

I am disheartened when I think about the public schools. I am disheartened when I think about the media and the hype we receive rather than news. I am disheartened when I think about young people who live their lives knowing they won't live past 20 years old. I am disheartened when I think about people - all over the world, and whose lives are our lives - who do not have food, who do not have shelter.

Everything seems to be falling apart. And another voice inside me says: "It's all good." How do I put these two apparently different voices together? Are they related? Is one voice crazy, the other sane? How do I make sense of this?

I may be naive, but I continue to think there is a way to live our lives that makes a difference. I continue to think that it is up to us to be the good the world needs.

And that takes work. We don't want to do the work. We want to put our little "fixes" together. How do we help the world? When we look at all of what needs to be "fixed," how do we really become part of what is good?

Today, I am filled with questions.

meb

With the Cat Gone

Dear Friends,

Waking up this morning, I want to make my cat sounds from the bedroom, where I know she'll hear me in the yard. Sometimes she answers me, sometimes not.

Yesterday afternoon when I drove up to the house, my eyes went automatically to the left hand corner of the garage, where I'd see her little black and white body appear as soon as she heard the garage door open. She'd never come for simply loving - she'd only come for food - but that was the little one.

I think I especially loved talking to her. That little black and white kitty brought forward a part of me that doesn't often come out. I had special names for her. From the time I walked out the back door until my car pulled away, I would be talking to her, whether I could see her or not. I knew she's hear my voice, and maybe it was a comfort to her. It was a comfort to me, anyway.

I guess she's not really gone, at least inside of me. I still expect to see her, paws up on the window, begging to be fed.

Every loss brings up other losses. When I mourn the cat, I mourn all the others who are gone, as well. My parents, my beloved aunts and uncles, my dear friends Sue and Harvey and Marilyn.

May your day be rich - filled with mourning, the tears of mourning, and the joy of today.

Joy to you.

meb

Ever

The Little One

Dear Friends,

Yesterday my husband and I buried our "little one," our little black and white cat, the shy-est cat in the world, who had been our little one for 7 years. Squeak came to us as a shy cat, and she died a shy cat. We were unable to get her into a box to take her to emergency after she developed convulsions. Finally, after enticing her with a can of tuna for a long time, she put half her body into the cat box and we pushed her in and snapped it shut.

At the vets, our little one was as calm as she gets for a few moments, until the doctor attempted an internal investigation of affairs. Then the cat got furious and squirmed her way out of the helper's grasp, onto the floor, and hid in a tube that was part of the x-ray equipment at the vets. There she stayed, on her back paws, until over an hour later the vet injected her through her back paw and pulled her out of the tube. Not before the staff had to take part of the equipment apart, however.

Squeak was a sweet cat. That's the best word for her - sweet. Whatever she carried with her from her birth or from her early days never left her, but she had a sweetness about her that was hers alone. For the past 4 years she's lived as happily as she ever got in the shed in our back yard, having proved herself unable to live in the house. In our years together, she spent several months scrapping for food after she fell out of a second story window, already having been confined to the front hall. We were completely confused about how to take care of her, even then.

Squeak was shy and even kind of sad. She knew how to receive but not how to give very well. But she gave us herself, her sweet, sad presence. I am grateful for the joy she brought me, and now I am taking in her leaving us, so quickly and so quietly.

Warmly,

meb

Getting Real

Dear Friends,

Part of this journey of life is to "get real" - to be honest with yourself about yourself and who you are, what you're about. To "get real" takes some work, because most of the world is set up to make sure you don't "get real." What things seem to be they often are not!

How do you "get real?" First of all, you tell yourself the truth. If you want to help someone so that they think you're a good person, then help them - and admit to yourself your motivation. If you want to help someone because it seems to be the "right" thing to do, then what does the "right" thing mean? Why do you want to help at all? Does the other person want your help?

How do you "get real?" You discover how you feel about things, because how you feel is part of the reality of any situation. You can rationalize all you want, you can be completely clear about how you think about things, but if you haven't included in your understanding how you feel about things, then you don't have the whole picture. You really don't.

"Getting real" begins with you looking at yourself, and looking at yourself as you are, not as you like to think you are. It's important that "getting real" requires that you look at yourself, and turn your attention from looking at others. That's the work.

Life is a journey, and on today's wing of the journey, you get to be real, honest, true to yourself. This may hurt a bit - honesty isn't always fun! - but in the end, how else do you want to live your life?

Kindly,

meb

The Princess

Dear Friends,

When I was in New Orleans last week, I was privileged to meet Princess. When I was introduced to Princess, her other told me that her name was Niya, but at that moment, Princess stepped forward and announced: "I'm Princess!"

I believe her! Princess stands about 3 feet tall. She holds her belly out and puts her hands on her hips. She has pigtails that stand out from the side of her head, held in place with sparkling bobbles. Her eyes are bright, and her teeth sparkle.

Princess is, indeed, a princess. Some day she may forget that she is Princess, but I hope not.

Today, I'm holding the thought of Princess in my mind. I hope I have something of her in me, too. I know I did, once in my life. I hope she's not gone.

Warmly,

meb

Let your heart lead

Dear Friends,

Place your hand on your heart. Feel the beating of your heart. The beating of your heart is something you do not have to make happen. What a relief!

Place your hand on your heart. This is your practice for today. Let your heart lead.

Watch your mind. Notice your thoughts. "Don't believe everything you think!" But lead with your heart.

When you lead with your heart, you are leading with the source of Love that is within you. Your mind can judge all it wants! Your mind can divide all it wants! But Love will lead.

Kindly,

meb

New Orleans, 2009

Dear Friends,

I've returned from a trip to New Orleans to work on the completion of a house for a family who lost their home in Katrina 4 years ago. I traveled and worked with a group of 8 people, 4 men and 4 women. Thankfully, several of our group were experienced and talented at building and remodeling homes.

We traveled over the Halloween weekend, when New Orleans is alive with celebration. The contrast of seeing people reveling in the streets as others live in trailers not far away, waiting for their homes to be rebuilt after the loss of everything, is astonishing. For those who survived the storm, to be alive means that not everything has been lost.

Our group stayed at the North Rampart Community Center on the edge of the French Quarter, next to St. Mark's United Methodist Church. We traveled to the home on which we worked each morning and worked through the day. We were fortunate to have arrived at the home after months of work by other volunteers, and the place was ready to be painted. In the middle of the week the family arrived to walk through the nearly finished house.

I was privileged to be present for the outpouring of gratitude from the woman and man whose home was being rebuilt. I knew I did not deserve the thanks and praise, but by the grace of God, I was one of those who was gifted to receive the thanks and praise.

Sometimes the gift is simply to observe the gift being given.

Warmly,

meb

Ebb and Flow

Dear Ones,

“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Jesus invites the disciples, as the people, hearing of the great miracles that this man and his followers perform, to get away from it all. “Sit,” we think to ourselves, “the dishes can wait, the floor will be swept, the garbage will get taken out, the bills will be paid, the phone calls will be answered.” We make these demand of ourselves, especially when we want to sit. And we make these demand of others. We want our emails answered right away! We want traffic to move faster, so that we can make it quickly from one important activity to the next! We don’t want to get to that quiet place. Or are we afraid?

It has only been in the past couple of years that I have discovered that the quiet place Jesus invited to disciples to join him is not a place I can go to in mind alone.

I know well how to spend time in my mind: the mind is a place of action!

I must take my whole self to that quiet place: the longings, the fears, the painful feelings I do not want to feel, the shame, the anxiety, the rage. I must take all of these things to the place of quiet, that place of reflection. Most of us will keep on keepin’ on – anything – to avoid that quiet place!

In life there really is an ebb and flow. We live in a cycle of night and day, spring and summer, autumn and winter. Plants rest. Our pets rest. God invited people to join God in the Sabbath – a day of rest from all the frantic activity of the week. There’s the calm before the storm, when the storm is gathering. The sea ebbs and flows.

Trust the ebb and flow of your life, whatever comes. You, too, have a quiet place that trusts completely.

meb

Moments

Dear Friends,

Today is a day of moments. Perhaps today will hold one of the moments of your life, one of the moments that you will never forget.

We tell our moments to each other often. And the moments we tell are not the moments of high success, of momentous honor. Mostly, these moments are the quietest, simplest moments.

One of the moments of my mother’s life, which she never forgot, and which she relayed to my sister and to me many times, was the moment she met my father’s mother, Martha, for the first time. My father had gone off to Milwaukee to find work, and he drove home every weekend to stay with his parents. He was in his late 30’s! And I suppose when he told his family he was going to marry this Mary Markowski, a divorced woman with a child, this was probably not the woman my grandmother would have chosen for Frankie. But when my mother stepped out of the car to meet Frank’s family, Martha, my grandmother, stepped forward and hugged my mother. That hug was the moment my mother felt accepted into the Bahlert family, not simply as a daughter-in-law, but as a daughter.

Today, remember the moments of your life as you go through your day. Enrich your life!

Warmly,

meb

Our Feeble Reason!

Dear Friends,

We are a people of reason. We want to know the reasons for the actions that are taken. We want to know that reason was used to decide the action, even when we are clamoring for truth! Not long ago, I heard two linguists speaking on National Public Radio. They were discussing the leadership that is required in order for people to be open to a variety of opinions. What they suggested is that the engagement of both emotions and reason are necessary for leadership that includes differing points of view. In other words, the leader must be comfortable with discomfort – with her/his own discomfort. “The part of the human brain that reasons is feeble compared to the part of the brain that works on emotions.” And yet we are people who clamor for reason, and who not only seek to disregard but to discredit emotion; emotion is a more potent part of our make-up than reason!

Today, notice what you are feeling, as well as your thoughts. That's all - notice. Include your feelings in the equation!

meb

Walking Fast In Life

Dear Friends,

I've always walked fast! Even now when I go for a walk with my husband, he has to remind me to look up and slow down. I can remember walking home from school as a child, looking at the sidewalk, and knowing I could walk faster than anyone else.

Sigh...

Walking fast in life is a way to not be present in the now. Walking fast in life is a way to push past the feelings. Walking fast in life is a way to avoid the real that is here, now.

What if we all slowed down? You've heard of the "slow movement?" Slowing down is spiritual practice. When we slow down, we begin to notice. Yes, we begin to notice all that is around us - the sunlight in the trees, the early morning sounds of the birds, the train in the distance, the feel of the brisk morning air. We begin to notice the sadness that is in a friend whose greeting appears happy. We begin to notice the light in someone's eyes: what's that about?

And we also begin to notice all that is in us - that nagging feeling that needs attention, that sore place that needs my attention so that I move just a little bit, that lingering thought that reminds me to call a friend on her birthday.

If you are wanting to find meaning in your ordinary life - and who among us does not have an ordinary, ordinary life? - slow down. Begin the practice now. You'll still get where you are going, but you will have given yourself - and the rest of us - a gift.

Warmly,

meb

Choosing

Dear Friends,

You get to choose. We are not driven to hurt one another, to harm ourselves and other human beings. We get to choose. When someone responds to you with anger, you get to choose your response. You can respond with deep listening and respect for them as a human being. You get to choose. When life does not give you what you had wanted or expected, you get to choose. You can stand firm in your faith, you can trust in God’s goodness, and make your way through the deep journey of grief to the other side. You get to choose. When those around you are thriving on their fear and panic, you get to choose your response. When you choose, you may go on your way alone, or you may not.

You get to choose. You get to go deep into yourself, to that deeper place where truth lies. “Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.” Salt is something elemental, basic, powerful, potent. “Have salt in yourselves.”

You get to choose to live from the elemental place of salt in yourself - or not.

meb

Step off - now, JUMP!

Dear Ones,

Imagine jumping off a cliff. Oh – before you do that, though, put on a special contraption, gear that is designed to cover your body and to give your arms what they need to become wings. There!
Now – imagine jumping off a cliff! You feel yourself drop, drop, drop off the edge of the sheer mountainside. You are 7,000 feet up, and you’ve climbed for a whole day before putting on the special gear and jumping off the edge of the cliff.

At first, it feels as if you are still. Then, you feel that momentary feeling in the pit of your stomach that tells you that you are falling, falling, falling into the embrace – yikes! – of the earth, 7,000 feet below, calling to you with the energy of gravity. A waft of air rushes into your face, and then – then! – then! you are lifted by the wings that are part of you. You drift close to the sheer cliffs. You can begin to look, to notice your surroundings, the almost purple sky above and surrounding you, the slate of the cliffs, the distant trees and green of the fields below. This is it! You are being held – by the air, by the wings, by the rush of energy that is you and is around you. This is it!

Warmly,
meb

The Green Couch - a time of transition

Dear Friends,

Let me tell you about my green couch. During a time in my life when I was going through a transition, I think I sat on that green couch for most of the day, every day. When I think of the green couch - a bright green corduroy couch that sat perpendicular to the front windows of the house in Tracy - it seems as if I sat on that couch all the time, for about 2 years. You can tell me that couldn't be true - and of course, it isn't completely true - but that's how long I sat on that green couch, at least in my memory.

I'd had a difficult couple of years. I had conflict in my work - the work I was certain I was chosen to do in this life - and my husband, Jeff, and I had been waiting for a baby girl we were adopting from Guatemala. Her name was Anali Julia - "little Anali," I called her, and still call her - and we had traveled to Guatemala in the autumn of 1990 to meet her for the first time. When the blanket over her face was opened, she smiled up at me, our first meeting as mother and daughter. The nurse who was caring for her in her own home in Guatemala said: "Zu mama," "your mother." I fell in love that first evening when Jeff was gone on an errand and Anali and I were alone for the first time. She was fussing a bit, and I was uncertain what to do for her. So I said a prayer to the Mother, the Mother of us all: "Help me!" As I said the prayer, little Anali looked into my eyes, and I knew we were meant for each other.

And we were! Jeff and I returned home to California to wait for the adoption to be processed in Guatemala so that we could return and bring the baby home. We waited a long time - longer than the adoption agency had suggested we'd wait - until we heard that little Anali's birth mother had taken her back with her. Two more times we completed the paper work for a baby girl from Guatemala, and two more times our efforts failed. The third baby girl died of a heart condition in Guatemala.

The day of the news about the baby's death, I raised my hands into the air and said: "Ok, God, I let go of the wheel of my life!" I didn't know what else to do.

What did I do then? I sat on that green couch until the day I had to get up and get moving again. Grief takes all the time it needs. Grief has its own life.

Maybe you're sitting on a green couch today. Don't despair. Your sorrow, your transition, your waiting is moving you in a direction you cannot yet see. Don't get up from the green couch until it's time.

meb

Lead with your heart

Dear Friends,

Look around you when you go out today. Watch how people walk and how they "lead." Culturally, we lead with our heads. That leading leads (!) to our linear thinking dominated way of doing business.

The world needs people to lead with their hearts. Why not be one of those who starts the process?

Right now, place your hand over your heart. Feel your heart beating. There. Breathe. There.

Feel the warmth of your hand. Feel the heaviness of your palm on your heart. There.

When you take your hand away, don't forget. Don't forget that your heart is the center of your being. Your heart contains all that you are, all that you will be, all that you have been. For today, shift your focus from leading with your head to leading with your heart. See the difference it makes in your life.

What do you notice?

You won't do it perfectly. Just do it. Like the rest of life, you're not intended to do it perfectly.

Simply practice.

Lead with your heart.

Warmly,

meb

Don't Forget to Breathe

Dear Friends,

It seems too simple, really. Breathe. If you're feeling anxious, breathe. The awareness of your breath is simple, and very, very powerful. Breathe. Now!

Breathe brings you back into your body. Your thinking mind distracts you from the wholeness of who you are. Your wholeness rests in your body.

Listen... what is your breath, your body saying to you? What memories are hidden there, waiting to be remembered, and then released?

Make this your spiritual practice today: breathe.

Warmly,

meb

What You Want is Already Here

Dear Ones,

A long time ago, I looked up at a beautiful, star-lit winter sky as I left my office after working all day. I walked to my car with a friend. "I wish it was still light out," I said, innocently enough. "You're wishing your life away," she responded.

Many times through the years I've thought of her response. Many times I've thought that she answered out of some distant place in herself, a place that had heard those words many times, perhaps as a child. What child has not heard those words in response to a simple wish?

Other times, I think she was right. She is right. When I live my life wishing for something else, or wanting something else other than what I have now, today, in this time and place, I am wishing my life away.

I can choose to simply begin by being grateful for what I do have, for what abundance I am privileged to receive this moment, for all the simple and marvelous gifts that are part of every single day. If I have desires, so be it. I can be grateful for the simple and very human gift of desiring what I do not have, and I can relish in the desire itself.

What I want is already here. There is no where to go, there is no where to be except here, now.

Warmly,

meb

Beginning to see differently...

Dear Friends,

I am beginning to see differently. Maybe you can do it, too. If I can, you can!

This morning we have an early fog, which is typical for the Bay Area in Northern California. A few moments ago I looked out at the world to my east and deep fog covered the tops of the trees, the eucalyptus towering overhead. The smaller trees were turquoise beneath the fog.

Now, the sun is beginning to light up the tall trees, and the deep green is gone. Yellow glistens on the background of my life-view. A light breeze sways the bamboo right outside the window, which has been growing fast this year. Sunlight appears to reflect onto the branches of the deep green giants.

From moment to moment, my world is changing. It's up to me to make sure I see it as it passes. I don't want to miss a thing!

Warmly,

meb